Recently I was listening to the radio and they were asking the question "did you settle for less than Mr/Mrs Perfect and did it work out for you?" there were so many people that phoned in to say YES they had settled at the time for someone they didn't think was perfect for them but it had worked out and now were happily married to the man or woman of their dreams.
When I met my now husband I looked at whether our core values and beliefs were in alignment rather than if he had perfect teeth or a great job. It certainly wasn't love at first sight but our love grew and continues to do so and we are happily married and I would say that I have found my Mr Perfect.
When out with a group of girlfriends a little while ago this topic came up and I was surprised to hear that most of them thought not only had they settled for less than perfect but that they also had lowered their "standards" in marrying their husbands. This I think is a whole other topic.
I also have quite a few single friends looking for love and feeling like they are running our of time because they see children in their futures. Should they settle so their dreams of having a family will eventuate?
It got me thinking are we too fixated on finding the perfect man, partner, house, job, life? Should we maybe settle for a little less and let it grow on us? Or should we hold up this IDEAL picture we have in our heads until we find exactly what we're looking for?
I think sometimes what we think is perfect in our heads is actually different to the reality of what makes us happy, content and fulfilled. I adore T - truly love him very deeply - yet when I met him he didn't tick my 'perfect man boxes'. And yet he was. And is. Sometimes the trick is in being able to see it. Do you think? xxxx
ReplyDeleteI think you have to establish "who" has created the perfect you think you are looking for. Is it "societies" perfect or your families or your social groups or is it yours? And in saying that, much like you suggested, are they also a reflection of your values and what you think is important to make a life with someone? That has to surpass the job and the looks because all of that can and most often does change. You want to be sure there's a relationship left when all the good looks and "stuff" disappears. xx
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